humans are finite. our days are numbered, our bodies are breakable, and our emotions may run as deep as the ocean, but even the ocean has a floor and may at least in theory be measured in metric litres. we would like to believe that we mean it when we say "i will always love you" or "i'll be there for you no matter what," but no love is infinite, and no persistence withstands the pressures of any and all contingencies. there is a limit to everything.
someday i might tell my children this when they tell me they've fallen in love.
happy new year.
Comments (0) | TrackBack (46) November 23, 2004 -
after i got to rice and checked in with dennis, i went down to the rice student center basement, found some couches next to the student pub, and fell asleep until i woke to the sound of distant, but distinct strains of live music. "oh crap, i slept through sound check!" but luckily, i only slept through the other band's sound check.
i entertained the ever good-looking danny mee (from the jonx) with a lesson in utilitarian origami as we waited for the first opening band to finish their soundcheck, which actually devolved into a freestyle jam session that lasted one hour long. we made origami cups. danny didn't really believe that the cups were actually watertight, so i poured some citrus-chamomile tea into the cup. not knowing what it was, he drank it. "what is this?"
there is no such thing as a free lunch, unless you as a musician and willing to eat anything. elizabeth (of the reputation) left the first opening band's extended soundcheck to snag free pizza from the student center commons, which an extremely friendly older man (presumably a campus christian youth group leader or something) had offered me earlier in the evening. i didn't eat any. there's no such thing as a free lunch.
the show was loud and good. i didn't break any strings, and i could hear myself. this was the debut of "love song for a defeatist" with drums, and i have to say that it sounded better than i imagined it could sound.
people at the show were friendly. the audience wanted an encore, so i played "secret me" as per someone's (ms. cara's, i later found out) request. my friend chason said he saw two people mouthing my lyrics, but i think he was just telling me that to make me feel better about myself after telling me that i looked really nervous during some of the songs. those were probably the songs where three of the four members of the reputation parked themselves right in front of the stage to watch my set. i was pleased, but yes, i was a little more nervous than i would have been if the band watching me were some despicable band, even a famous despicable band, like say, creed. (didn't creed break up a few months ago?)
the power strip shorted during the reputation's set because their rock required more electricity than i did, but it was clear that the band had spent seven weeks on the road battling all kinds of impromptu crises, because they managed to resuscitate the power and convince the crowd of diehard reputation fans not to cry. they played a short set. i think they were either tired or anxious to get started on the drinking.
a girl named __ offered me a sip of her martel. i suggested she offer elizabeth some, and so she obtained four cups from subway and filled them with a bottle of martel that she just happened to be carrying with her on campus in a backpack. i don't drink, but i love the idea of a wet campus. __ was really cool, but i can't remember her name now, because all i could remember was some story about how the reputation kept getting her mixed up with some other fan named gracie. ___, if you're out there, please reintroduce yourself. you're really f***ing cool.
the only thing that irked me about tonight was that not one, not two, but three of the people i put on guest lists didn't show up. i only had five guestlist slots and could have given them to other people who had asked me to be on the guestlist, but who had asked me after i had already given the slots away. if
i have a flight to california in a few hours. time for bed -- or more bug killing. the latest infestation at my house: meat flies. which is odd because i don't eat meat.
Comments (0) | TrackBack (43) November 22, 2004 -untitled new song #3
first name, last name
friend of the family
tis the season for belated greetings
you don't have to tell me
visitors are not allowed
there's a window in your door
i can see you looking out
clouds are moving quickly
the birds are headed south
i drove until i heard you say
the gas is running out
and you don't have to tell me
tragedy is cheap
there's a letter in my suitcase
i still refuse to read
good days, bad days
worst case scenarios
silence is the sound i fear the most
you don't have to tell me
that everything's too late
the ugliness has faded
into things we'll never say
bear friend.
